I couldn’t sleep Monday night. Of course, it was one of those rare and celebrated occasions when both girls slept through the night in their own beds. I knew in the morning I was supposed to be hitting the Publish button and I started second guessing whether or not I should really go through with this. As Curious George caused mischief in the background, I held my coffee in one hand and stalled with the other drawing circles on the trackpad. I finally applied pressure and clicked. I published, I posted, I shared, and I walked away. I made blueberry scones for the girls. We went to the grocery store. I saw a friend driving through the parking lot who said enthusiastically through her car window, “I read your blog!” I came home and was flooded with all of your beautiful comments, encouragement and admittedly, my own tears. Is this for real? Is this really happening right now?
Last week I listened to episode 12 of Elizabeth Gilbert’s Podcast, Magic Lessons, about creative living beyond fear. Brene Brown, New York Times bestselling author joined as Liz’s guest. One part of their collective message was, “You share a story when your healing is not dependent on the response.”
I wrote my first draft of The Beginning on an airplane on my way to Austin Texas back in July. It was my last official work trip and I had already given my notice. So, I had sat with that story for a bit before sharing it this week. And even though part of my blog title is recovering, I am completely at peace with the story in how I got to where I am now. (In the words of Charlotte York, “I choose my choice!” Ha.)
My healing wasn’t dependent on your response but your response did act as a guidepost for me on this new trail. Your generous messages of support have strengthened my resolve. This truly is just the beginning.
Friends, thank you for reading and happy Friday!