I took Harper and Elliot­­ to the dentist last week and as I filled out their new patient paperwork, I found myself having to ad-lib an answer in the blank space after employed by.

It may have been a foreseeable thing but for some reason, I was kind of blindsided in seeing the empty box without a definitive answer prepared. I know in the scheme of things, this isn’t a big deal. But it was a wake up call.

That blank space extends beyond the pages of the new patient paperwork. It goes hand-in-hand with needing to refine my answer to the go-to question at social gatherings, “So, what do you do?” I’m trying to adjust as my elevator speech relocates to the playground. Right now I find myself saying something to the effect of, “I recently left my job to pursue a new career that will allow me to spend more time with my two girls.” But I feel like that line has an expiration date. I’m afraid recently may be lapsed soon.

Yes, I am obsessing with time. Going from a fast-paced work environment full of deadlines to this new open format of living is taking some serious getting used to. I have found that you can take away one busy and stressful part of your life but if you aren’t mindful and protective of that space you have created, it tends to accumulate with other “stuff” to manage very quickly. (Kind of like any free closet space you think you have.)

I am clearly still onboarding to my new lifestyle and I definitely need some cross training in a few areas. The art of letting go could very well be lesson one. I know I should be living my life first. Figuring out the answer to what I do will come with time. I like this quote by Gilda Radner,

“Some stories don’t have a clear beginning, middle and end. Life is about not knowing, having to change, taking the moment and making the best of it, without knowing what’s going to happen next. Delicious ambiguity.”

So, what do I do? For now, I’ve got a blank space… and I’ll write my name.